Broken Wolf_A Paranormal Shifter Romance Read online

  His Alpha female smiled at him and it was kind despite everything. “I don’t know you very well, but I trust Kai and he trusts you with the pack. Come to Portland and don’t fuck it up.”

  Amelia gave Kai a kiss on the cheek and then went back into the house.

  It was just him and his Alpha and Shane felt the need to explain all over again. “I’m sorry about last night.” He ran his hand through his hair and tried not to rip it out. “Fuck, it feels like I’m always apologizing for something.”

  Kai crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the barn where some of their projects still waited for them. The night before had thrown off everyone’s schedule and Kai had closed the shop through Monday.

  “Shane, I know I wasn’t here for everything that happened over the last ten years. I knew when you called me this wasn’t going to be easy and I almost didn’t beat the last Alpha, so all this…” he waved at the property. “Feels like a dream to you.”

  He was right about that. The last Alpha and every single one before him hadn’t given a shit about the pack members other than as slaves. The fees to stay registered had been outrageous. Shane felt some of the tension in his body dissipate when Kai acknowledged his struggle.

  “I also know you’ve been doing the best you can. You’re still seeing your therapist once a week, you do a phenomenal job at the shop, and your work is always perfect. I trust you to take care of things when I’m gone or when I can’t for whatever reason. Don’t doubt yourself okay? We’ll get there.”

  Kai hugged him and Shane stiffened. Then he relaxed as he felt whatever soothing magic being Alpha gave Kai. To not have his pack leader beat him…it was strange not to live in constant violence.

  “Yeah, okay,” Shane agreed. It was a good plan. “I’ll make an appointment with the therapist and then talk to Bonnie.” Christ, it would feel like forever to have to wait to see her. “How did you manage to hold back with Amelia?”

  No one else in the pack had been mated yet. Kai was the only one who would possibly know what he was talking about. The pain in his chest was uncomfortable as hell and he’d only spent one day and part of a night with her.

  Kai took a step back and shrugged. “I just knew that if I rushed things I could lose her forever. That would be worse than waiting.”

  Shane nodded. That was for sure. “I’ll get the snow blower and then maybe I can see the therapist today.” It wasn’t just for his PTSD either. Shane had an obsessive compulsive disorder. Thankfully his wasn’t as bad as it could be. The support group he attended had others who had it way worse than him.

  “Whatever you need man, but make sure you take care of yourself. We heal physically, but I pay a lot for our insurance for a reason. Shifter magic can heal the body, but not the mind.” Kai clapped him on the back and left him to it.

  Shane went to get the snow blower out of the barn. He’d have to go over what he’d already done to make sure the line was perfect and right where the edges of the driveway were. Then he’d sweep and salt, make sure the salt was evenly spread…he sighed and pulled out his phone. He definitely needed to see his therapist today.

  The stress of Bonnie’s departure was riding him hard and triggering every compulsion he had, but he wouldn’t let them take over his life. It would all work out like Kai said. Bonnie just needed some time to cool off.

  Chapter Five

  Bonnie

  Bonnie hadn’t expected Amelia to be at Ravens Publishing on Monday after everything she’d said about quitting, but a small part of Bonnie hoped she would come to her senses and be there bright and early as usual.

  She sighed and turned the page of the book she was currently editing.

  It was difficult to focus when all she wanted to do was check her phone a thousand times, but no one had called her or texted. She and Amelia had been friends for years now and suddenly a guy comes along and she drops her?

  That hurt.

  Bonnie shook her head and set her pen down on the desk. That wasn’t fair. It wasn’t exactly a normal situation now was it? Amelia thought she was a werewolf. There wasn’t much about the ‘Blue Mountain Pack’ she could find on the internet. Not even a whisper. All she’d managed to dig up was legitimate records, deeds, and the business Kai owned.

  On paper he was the most charming, community-driven guy.

  But that wasn’t what she’d seen when she’d been there. Bonnie knew there was something else going on, but she just couldn’t figure out what it was. There had to be some kind of drug or something in the water because even she had nearly believed there were werewolves when she was there.

  Bonnie sighed and tugged on the end of her ponytail. This was not going to be a very productive workday.

  She checked her watch and decided to just take the rest of the day off. It was nearly lunch and she wouldn’t be able to focus worth shit anyway. To appease her boss she’d take the manuscript home with her, but Bonnie needed her pajamas and some ice cream.

  Then a flash of red hair went by her office. Bonnie’s stomach lurched and she leapt to her feet to go after Amelia. Bonnie was still mad and probably should avoid her, but she needed confirmation this was really happening. That she really did have to figure out what she was going to do at the end of two weeks, or lose her friend forever.

  “Hey Bonnie,” Amelia said when Bonnie reached the next office over. She was wearing jeans and a sweater so she wasn’t planning on staying for the day, but she was checking emails at her desk and grabbing her latest manuscript. “I just put in my two weeks’ notice. How’ve you been?”

  Bonnie wanted to yell and scream at Amelia but they were at work. It infuriated her she’d actually gone through with it and quit. “Are you actually going to be here for those two weeks?”

  Amelia gave her a guilty look and it instantly made Bonnie want to turn and leave before she said something she couldn’t take back. Of course Amelia wouldn’t be. She might maul someone, however ridiculous that sounded.

  Whatever they’d told her, it had convinced Amelia this was all real so thoroughly she thought she’d physically bite someone.

  “No,” Amelia admitted. “I’m not going to be here. I will be in the city though and working from Kai’s townhome. I told them I was sick. It’ll take some time to get used to…this.” She waved at herself. “I don’t even feel cold anymore, and I’m hungry all the time.”

  “I don’t care,” Bonnie finally snapped. “You’re leaving me here for a bunch of crazy people who think they’re werewolves. This isn’t healthy Amelia.”

  Amelia reeled back as though she’d slapped her. “But they are real, Bon. How else do you explain this scar? And I’m not leaving you. I want you to come with me.”

  The scar was a bit difficult to explain, but it could have been there before and she’d never noticed. Bonnie shook her head. No, there was no such thing as werewolves. Even if there was weird shit going on.

  Bonnie knew she was being emotional, irrational, and maybe a little bit neurotic but she hurt. Everyone was always leaving her. First it was her parents and now Amelia? When was she going to learn not to get so invested?

  “I’m not going to give up on everything I’ve worked for,” Bonnie told her. “And you shouldn’t either. You know I just bought that new place and you haven’t even seen it yet. This isn’t just about you dropping everything. Amelia…” Bonnie couldn’t even finish the sentence. It would be like talking to a wall anyway. So she turned and left Amelia to clean out her office alone.

  Bonnie needed to get out of the building – out into the city where there was fresh air.

  She grabbed her coat, purse, and the manuscript she’d been working on, and then she took the stairs to the ground floor.

  This whole thing was just too much. How could her most logical friend fall for this?

  She tried not to think of the new scar on Amelia’s arm and how it had gotten there.

  The stairs sucked in her heels, but Bonnie refused to go back for her gym shoes. She jus
t wanted to finalize everything for her move. The truck she was going to borrow had fallen through of course. So she’d just hired some movers. It would be easier since there was no one else to help her now.

  As she stepped outside she was practically frozen to the bone. It was the coldest winter in forever, or that’s what the weather channel kept saying. Bonnie rushed to her car and turned it on. She should have remotely started the engine so the heater could run, but she’d been so flustered it had just slipped her mind. Now she had to pay the consequences.

  Bonnie rubbed her chest as she waited for the car to warm up. Great, now all this shit was manifesting as physical pain. The ache was sharp enough it wasn’t easy to forget. Maybe she should go to the doctor and have it checked out if it didn’t go away in a day or two.

  She held her hands up to the heater and then put the Land Rover in gear. Her new place wasn’t far. She wanted to check on it since she’d gotten the keys on Friday. The interior decorator was supposed to be there at five, maybe he could come early.

  Signaling to get over she merged into traffic. The condo she’d purchased was nice and close enough to the publishing house she could walk. After all her Land Rover was a terrible gas guzzler. But it wasn’t just the distance to the publishing house. Bonnie pulled into the underground garage.

  No, this condo was in the same building as Amelia’s. It was a few floors up and bigger, but Bonnie hadn’t thought she’d want to move any time soon. Now she felt conflicted, and mad. This whole thing was supposed to have been a surprise for her best friend, but it didn’t matter anymore.

  Because Amelia was selling her loft.

  She parked and then got out, checking her phone as she headed to the elevator. The moving guys had a key already and were loading everything into the truck at her other place. At least that’s what her neighbor’s text said. Thank god the old woman had agreed to help her out.

  Bonnie didn’t have anyone else.

  The doors opened onto her floor and she checked the numbers until she reached her condo. The key stuck at first and she had to jiggle it a bit, but then the door opened into a beautiful wide open space with tons of windows and natural lighting.

  It was completely empty and Bonnie tried not to read too much into that.

  Poor little rich girl.

  That was the cliché wasn’t it? When her parents had died in that awful car accident, hit by a drunk driver in the rain…she’d been in her first year of college. Suddenly the ranch and everything her parents had owned was hers, not to mention the very generous life insurance payout.

  Bonnie hadn’t known what to do at first. It was a lot to take in and she thought she’d have more time to decide. Her parents were supposed to live long full lives and when they were ready to retire she would have had the time to fulfill her dreams and then she could take over the ranch or not.

  It didn’t help she didn’t have any siblings. Bonnie was the sole inheritor and the ranch and everything that came with it had been too much to take care of…so she’d sold everything. She knew nothing about the business side of the ranch and how to keep the whole thing running. She’d sold the entire herd of cattle, and then the land which she still regretted doing. Her parents hadn’t owned twenty-five hundred acres, but it had been close.

  There was just no way she could have kept up with all the expenses of the property and the herd while she lived in the city and finished her degree.

  Bonnie texted the interior designer. Maybe she should just cancel until she knew what she wanted to do. Because no matter how mad and how worried she was about the cult thing…part of her wanted to say fuck it and join Amelia’s venture. Maybe she could keep an eye out for her friend and help her.

  Werewolves though…she shook her head. It was just too weird.

  It wasn’t like she couldn’t afford to never work again if she didn’t want to, but Bonnie had never lived like she was rich. Her parents hadn’t either. She never wanted to live off it like other rich kids she knew with rancher parents who got everything they ever desired. Bonnie had saved it for retirement and things like school and a place to live, that kind of thing.

  The only reason she’d told Amelia no when her friend had first suggested opening their own publishing company was because she didn’t want Amelia to throw everything she’d worked so hard for away on a gamble. Bonnie knew a little about what had happened to her, and stability was important.

  Bonnie could afford not succeeding in the business venture, Amelia couldn’t.

  Well, maybe now she could. She didn’t know Kai’s financial situation but a man didn’t just own twenty-five hundred acres of land, a business, and whatever else without being successful.

  She ran her hand along the marble counter-top and sighed. She should just cancel the decorator until she could figure out what the hell she was feeling other than disappointment and anger.

  This whole thing reminded her too much of when her parents had died. That had left her feeling adrift and lonely as well.

  Her phone chimed with the text from the decorator. He couldn’t get there early, but he would make it up to her.

  Whatever, it didn’t matter anyway. Bonnie turned and left, slamming her door closed before locking it. She could make sure the movers were doing their jobs at her old condo and not rifling through her underwear.

  This time she took the stairs since she wasn’t going to go to the gym. It would be too weird to go without Amelia after two years of going together every single day. She’d just be careful about what she ate. It would be fine.

  “Bonnie?”

  She stopped just below the ground floor and looked up. Shane was peering down at her from Amelia’s landing. “What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded. “Are you stalking me?”

  “I just…smelled you,” he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m grabbing some paperwork for Amelia. Why are you here?”

  The audacity this guy had. “This is where my fucking condo is, not like anyone cared to ask.” Bonnie stomped down the last flight of stairs harder than necessary, making as much noise as possible just to be annoying. But it wasn’t fast and he’d caught up to her by the time she reached the garage.

  “Bonnie…please talk to me.” Shane reached out for her and then stopped before he touched her.

  She hated how much it disappointed her that he’d pulled back. This is what she wanted after all, for him to leave her alone.

  “I don’t have anything to say to you,” she told him. But still, she didn’t move. As she stared at Shane in the stairwell of the parking garage – the most unromantic place in the universe – she realized that deep, agonizing ache in her chest was gone.

  She didn’t know what that meant exactly, but it made her nervous.

  “Okay, fair enough,” Shane said. “But if you have some time I’d like to maybe explain my side of things. Then we can go our separate ways. Would you like to take a walk with me?” She watched him rub his thumb over his pointer finger over and over.

  He must be really nervous.

  Would it be so bad to take a walk with the hottest guy she’d ever seen or been with? Bonnie was positive he was crazy, but he was the most normal crazy person she’d ever met. And there was still a part of her that wasn’t ready to walk away from him. That part of her was a thirsty bitch.

  He was also going to volunteer information about himself. Shane wasn’t going to just walk away. That was…endearing.

  “Fine, but let me change my shoes,” she told him. It would be a good idea to get as much information from him as she possibly could. Then she’d know what she was really up against. Bonnie turned and let her ponytail practically whip him in the face. He deserved it anyway.

  Shane stayed silent but he followed her to her Land Rover and watched as she opened up the back. There was a suitcase of extra shoes and clothes she liked to keep in there along with her emergency kit and blanket. After living on a ranch most of her life she knew how to handle almost any situation. Her f
irst aid kit was no joke.

  It was a bit strange to sit down and slip off her heels while she put on socks and hiking boots, trying to ignore how weird they looked with her pantsuit. They’d keep her warmer than the running shoes would. Bonnie never knew when she’d get the urge to just leave Portland and run or hike.

  Sometimes she just couldn’t take the city anymore. If she were honest with herself, she missed the wide open space she’d grown up with – the same kind of openness she’d seen on Kai’s property.

  Strangely Shane didn’t ask about any of her stuff, but he did keep rubbing his thumb over his pointer finger while he watched her. He seemed less antsy than he had when she saw him last. “Are you feeling better?” she asked, tying the laces on her boots.

  “I am. I saw my therapist. He helped me.” Shane looked away when he said the words – like he was ashamed.

  Bonnie finished with her boots and studied him for a moment. She never would have guessed he’d be so honest after she’d woken up and found out he’d left sometime before dawn. It wasn’t normal ‘guy’ behavior. But she supposed he wasn’t normal. Even when she first met him he was weird about things.

  And he had a therapist. She wondered what the doctor thought about the werewolf thing or if Shane kept that a secret.

  “Do you have OCD?” she asked. The signs were there, but it was pretty mild from what she could tell.

  Shane nodded and his thumb rubbed his pointer finger faster.

  “At first I thought Amelia had OCD,” Bonnie admitted. “She had so many rules for everything…but it’s just a coping mechanism – err, it was. Anything I should know about?” she asked. Bonnie was familiar with a lot of different kinds of disorders thanks to her years as a teenager and her own time in the psych ward.

  Shane narrowed his eyes, but didn’t say anything.

  “I’m only asking because I don’t want to accidentally trigger you. Can I touch you without issue?”

  He smiled at that question and Bonnie blushed which annoyed her. She didn’t mean like that.